Over the weekend of April 22-23, I’ll be selling and signing books at some Barnes and Noble locations in Aurora, Colorado. I and some other local authors will be at the following stores on the following days:
4/22: 960 S Colorado Blvd, Glendale, CO 80246
4/23: 6300 S Main St Suite N101, Aurora, CO 80016
He is the crispy bacon of vengeance that sizzles in the night. He is the defective tanning oil that singes the back fat of evil. And his book just launched!
The Black Walrus, my new middle grade adventure comedy novel for 5th through 9th grade boys, is now available on Amazon. It’s a laugh-out-loud adventure, and I couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out.
The story stars Alex Portobello, an inventive middle schooler and comic book fan, who gains superhuman intelligence as the result of a strange experiment. Using his homemade inventions, his custom-designed martial art, and his affinity for spandex, Alex dons a costume and wages war on Cremini City’s criminals as the costumed hero, the Black Walrus.
But Alex gets more than he bargained for when a mysterious zookeeper begins to deduce his secret identity. And things go from bad to worse when a new foe threatens to turn Cremini City into a criminal empire. Can Alex truly become the Cheeto® dust that stains the fingers of injustice and keep his city from plunging into chaos? You’ll have to read the book to find out!
Thank you to my editor, my beta readers, my cover designer, my parents, the RMFW Aurora Critique Group, and everyone at Author YOU for making this book possible.
Pick up your copy of The Black Walrus today: bit.ly/blackwalrus or ask for it wherever books are sold!
Hi, everyone. Are you psyched for the release of the Black Walrus? I know I’ve peed my pants with excitement multiple times today!
For those of you unaware, I used to use this website to host a blog, where I wrote articles on various goofy topics. I won’t be writing as many of these articles anymore, as I’ve transitioned to writing The Black Walrus series and will mostly be posting updates regarding that.
However, if you’d like to read my thoughts on such deep, philosophical topics as ketchup packets, furbys, and beards, feel free to take a look through the blog archive.
While perusing the Internet in-between games of Foosball with my super-intelligent chinchilla, I’ve developed a great new hobby. As you probably know, looking up a business like a restaurant, movie theater, etc. on Google Maps will show you reviews left by users. If you look up a famous landmark, like the Pyramids of Giza or the Great Wall of China, you’ll find thousands of glowing, five-star reviews, but also a few one-star reviews that make your head spin. I thought I’d share a few of them here:
Great Pyramid of Giza
This place is so old and dusty. Looks like it’s been there forever no one updates the architecture or interior design. How about a fresh coat of paint once in a while? What could that cost? Local signage was hopeless – what’s with all the squiggles and dots?
From UNITED INDIANS!:
It is just a burial ground. Indian ancient architecture are older,bigger and artistic than these.
Why couldn’t they be circles because triangles are boring.
The food wasn’t that good. It was really dry and hot.
Very un organized , nobody tries to give u clues where to go it’s as if they picked the worst men / police men to do the job , parking is terrible , went up the great pyramid, no aeration , same way in is same way out which makes it so risky to get in or out .no road signs to guide u to the places. Will never go there again
I was invited to pizza but they said they said Pyramid of Giza, I heard P—-iza! Scam
Pyramid of Khafre
Sphinx had no nose, very major detail. Don’t expect building a world wonder and leaving such a important detail out. Wow egyptians just wow
Wow this is grabage i almost fell off
I cam to see the largest pyramid not the second tallest pyramid
Fell off the pyramid wasn’t a H1Z1 experience as there were no zombies to @ me so yeh but is cool
Pyramid of Menkaure
This puny embarrassment of a pyramid puts its two neighbors to complete shame. What, did they run out of stone? Did they get tired?
The scar on its face is from the early 13th century when the Ayyub dynasty tried to tear it down. I say we finish the job.
The workmanship is quite shoddy, the plumbing sucks….looks like it could fall at any time…… they didn’t even install handrails or economic lighting.
I thought id get free electricity with my tesla coil. Guess it’s out of juice
Eiffel Tower
It was very cool to see the White House! It’s nice seeing where the President lives. I recommend visiting the important building. (Please note that we did not actually enter the White House’s interior, we only saw the outside.). A must see when you visit DC! I was overwhelmed with how incredible and noteworthy this place is! We also got to see the president fly over which was pretty cool!
Great Wall of China
I wanted to see what was so interesting about this area. I’ve heard a lot about it, but when I went there was a wall in the way. It was kinda ugly actually, but it blocked me from seeing why everyone talks about this area. Not enjoyable.
couldn’t see it from space i was lied to.
They are a chinese restaurant. Placed 2 separate orders through Grub Hub and for no explanation…cancelled by Grub Hub. Still in business???
to say the least.. i am gutted. this “Wall” is merely a fence, i have seen better walls on the US/Mexican border. 2 stars purely for the fact that i am a wall collector.
the wall is going to collapse under my immense muscle as i stroll across its rocky steps but first ill have to build it because it isn’t real
Ya’ll got it wrong. My grandma built this when she was able to say H~A~M~B~U~R~G~E~R
Taj Mahal
This place is situated at Agra city of Indian state Uttar Pradesh. This place is a major tourist attraction not only for Indians but for foreigners also. This place is having some greenery also which makes it more important as natural perspective. This is a historical place. There are many places to see inside the premises.
Monument is incredible but the services at the monument is pathetic. I stood for 3 hours in line. Internet was banned there and debit cards were not working.
I’ll let you know if I find any more of these review gems. Cheers!
I’ve participated in another interview with Chat and Spin Radio! While you’re cooped up inside, you can listen to it here (my interview begins at around 26 minutes into the recording.) Also, if you can manage it, please donate to Chat and Spin via Paypal:
Here’s the audio from my interview with Chat and Spin Radio. My interview starts at 10:15.
I just received an update from Chat and Spin Radio: my interview will be tomorrow at 1:10pm Mountain Time (one hour later than it was originally.) You can listen here: chatandspinradio.com
I’ll be participating in an interview on the UK-based Chat and Spin Radio on Saturday, November 2! The interview will be at 12:10pm Mountain time.
Click on “listen live” to hear the station!